He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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