I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
