if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
