fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize