so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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