fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's rum buckets o'clock
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
