Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize