that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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