my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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