Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Shame - the story of my life.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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