If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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