i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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