i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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