Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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