Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he was CRYING into my vagina
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
