He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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