I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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