which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
