I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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