I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!