im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.