Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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