...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
