Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
