"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
