i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Boobs are out for the taking
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
