I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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