Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
