I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize