Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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