she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
