Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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