he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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