Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She bit a glass in half.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
