Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
and she was petting her beer can
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
