I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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