And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
