Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
