I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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