I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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