I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize