i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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