fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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