ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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