there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
