The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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