Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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