I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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