I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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