they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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