I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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