It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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