remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize