Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
