Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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