Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
