He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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