wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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