sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
