How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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