She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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