if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
So. Much. Porn.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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